SCROLLS OF LIGHT

    A TRUE STORY by Pilar de La Luz ,written  in  1973                 

Computer formatted in 2003                                                 

 

 

I have already told the world

how a tiny mother gerbil

taught me womanhood    

 as birthing she magnified

was in command

commanding

the Force of Life

 

but I have forgotten to tell people

and even myself

how the tiny father gerbil

 in front of Death learning taught me  manhood.

 

First Birth:

when I was twenty-seven

one day at dawn the house

 became very quiet

at that moment of the birth of day

Suddenly-unexpectedly I fully

to directly run to the gerbils' cage

 in the breakfast room

I had been summed by Life,

BIRTH

-the cosmic miracle- was happening

transfixed I witnessed

as inside a small cage

the mother gerbil

gave birth

to nine

tiny  gerbils

She licked , cleaning/nibbling at: alighting!

each

perfect

finished babe

then she ate the placenta

All her actions

were powerful threads weaving

In her corner of the cage

the nine baby blobs

-no eyes yet and gray-

were sealed at first

 She consciously

carefully  

them to the quiver of breath

In the immensity of space

in the infinitude of time

by the glass cage I witnessed

in utter reverence

the awesome moment of birth!

 Reenactment of the Eternal mystery of Creation

In another corner of the tiny dwelling

the father gerbil simply waited

this was not his moment to shine:

all beaming highlights of Life were

 upon the mother

in the act of birth!

Among the nine babies one was the runt

he needed special care

Days of intense growth

bathed the litter

suck

sleep

warmth,

mother.

To protect the runt the father-gerbil

would tuck him under his body

in his corner of the cage

while the mother gerbil

fed the eight other growing baby-blobs

I saw him

the runt also

 

at his father's breast!

After the other eight

were fully puffed like balls

and asleep swelled

with the

of abundant milk

the mother alone

would also nurse the runt

in the father's corner

over wood-shavings

fully wet with

How assiduously

the mother and father gerbil

incessantly tended to their fast growing brood!

It was very educational

watching the gerbils

how beautifully

 love danced

in this instinct bound family

I also had my own children then

 (the gerbils belonged

 to the children

in the Life hierarchy of the household)

 I was mother provider to all

When the nine gerbils grew to toddler time

I made them a new home

 a true palace:

the downstairs fireplace

with the gold framed glass doors!

It was summer…

We filled it with tunnels and wheels

and all the fun things of American gerbil-life

The gerbil family was our showcase

a miniature world

 for the study of Earth

The most sacred toy

 of the entire household

The children used to open the doors

and let the gerbils walk about

on the wide mantle of the brick hearth

Mark was then learning to walk

 propelled by the weight

of his own  head

with large eager steps

barely balanced at

of a forward fall    

   On seeing the mother gerbil

come out of the fireplace

to explore the wide ledge

with shrills of joy

Baby Mark ran toward her

falling over the glass doors

which then snapped closed

upon the mother-gerbil’s very life

Almost beheaded

 the mother gerbil instantly died

The children and I cried

the father gerbil stoically stood

carved in grief

on one spot

for the next forty-eight hours or so

he withstood alone, sad, and solemn

he did not eat - he did not run

he simply stood

 

apart from Life

healing

 When finally the

 inner river of grief

arrived anew to

 the ocean of life

he became again

Mother-Father

to the nine growing baby gerbils

Once more life pervaded

the palace of their cage

So this is the story

of two gigantic "tiny" gurus in my life

the father and mother gerbil

who taught me

    

and

of what it is to be woman

and man

the mother in the act of birth

the father in facing death