Womb of Life

 

I am a woman

I wish to sing to the innermost part

of my being: My Womb

 

a hidden inner part like the heart ,

as tiny as the heart!

Did you know that both are

the size of a relaxed fist?

 

Did you know the Womb

is another heart?

source of life, a Cosmic Heart?

 

In the ancient science of Tai Chi Chuan

of which I am a modern teacher

a truly relaxed fist "the Supreme Ultimate Fist"

is the one that conquers the world

 

That is why I sing to the Womb!

this Ultimate Jewel of Life we females carry inside

 

Strange that Freud talked of Penis envy... Why?

 

Let us now forever level the scale

and arrive at the balance

of Male and Female

 

 two perfect sides of life’s Oneness

                                                                      

 

II

The Solar Plexus is

in the very Center of my body

 

there the Womb resides

 

the Womb is like the Sun

a true Doorway

to Life

 

when I was young I sang to birth

for through my womb

five children came to bless this world

 

now I am a Crone

and am paradoxically singing

to my womb

 

my very old and worn womb

that was removed

in the operating room of a modern hospital

 

I was conscious through the operation

blessing it in Sacred Ceremony

(I had chosen spinal anesthesia)

 

in spirit I became one with the operating team

of two extraordinarily courageous surgeons

who along with their assistants were experts

in the art of cutting and sewing living bodies

 

I was in awe of their skills and vocation

 

my main surgeon Doctor Elisabeth Baca

 is a beautiful woman in her forties,

part of the medical team at a holistic clinic,

THE FOUR CORNERS OBG CLINIC

 that operates out of Mercy Regional Hospital

in Durango, Colorado

 

her assistant surgeon was herself a young mother to be,

a woman doctor in the last month of her own pregnancy,

expecting her first child.

 

my anesthesiologist was a gentle man

a seasoned doctor that day in and day out

 works with great awareness of his sacred profession

 

his assistant was also a male

and their energy was exactly

what I needed.

 

the other two members of the operating team were nurses

as I was wheeled into the operating room

I only saw their loving eyes behind surgical masks

 

I entered that room in heightened awareness,

with the utmost prayer of my life

 

silently, inside my Self, I opened Sacred Space

and enfolded the whole room and the whole hospital and the whole team

into “the sacred Holon,”  a diamond of Light

 

for the Operation

I was placed inside a paper-tent,

 to seal out of sight the lower part of my body:

 

I became Conscious Breath

 

at the end of the operation

--that because of my conscious cooperation

 took only half of the allocated time--

I chose to see my uterus after it was out

 to lovingly bid it a grateful farewell

 

that interaction with my womb

was the strangest moment -  

a new birth: my own!

 

yes, that hysterectomy

was for me an “ego-sectomy”

a true baptism of love, humility and respect  

an entrance into the Oneness

of the human community

our human condition

 

the true meaning of life

is not dependant on what happens to us

but how we interpret what happens

 

I chose to receive this experience

as a great blessing, a great healing

 

with my old womb I let go of old pain

I let go of the past

 

with my new birth

came a totally positive attitude

 

I am now ready to receive

a new womb

a Womb of Light

to help birth the future

of humankind

 

I am recovering my creativity

to again write, write my truth, write my life

 

 for a long time my art was stagnant and stopped

like my old womb, clogged up

with a fibroid tumor that against my conscious power

was growing and growing

 

the operation was needed and the lessons from it

are like a beautiful garden of many flowers

 

I am now learning, growing and healing

 

Let me continue to reflect

on the sublime power of the Womb.

III

Today I wish to sing to the very womb of Life

the Womb of  Nature and Earth

 The “Our Father” in Aramaic, the Prayer Jesus taught,

starts with the word  “A B W O U N”

a word forgotten now in the consciousness of humanity

a word that describes God not only as Father

but also as Womb

 yes: the Divine is the Womb of Life

Life itself is WOMB

 

So I shall sing to God The Mother

Womb of Creation:

 

my cells are rocked in dolphin and whale lullabies

there is a Song in the sea

 

I dip my tongue in the primeval salty water of ancient oceans

the amniotic fluid of all earth life

 

Oh mother Matter, Mater that matters

my song is a prayer to not ever desecrate thy Womb

 

my song is a vow of  love and respect for all life

from amoebas to ants to stars

 

Mother, I will tend your Garden,

 to build a sustainable culture in a new City of Light

 

I see earth domes  --villages of peace

blossoming over the entire face of our Earth

 

thank you Nature, thank you Mother

Womb of Peace

 

  /Pilar, January , 2008